The Third Kid Chronicles

How many kids do you have?  A couple?  More than 3?  If you do, you know as well as I do that you're not doing things the same with your second (or third or fourth), that you did when you had just one.  I enlisted the help of my sister Becky (we have 7 children between the two of us), and as the text messages were flying back and forth, we were both laughing hysterically.  All of us mommies are living parallel lives.  We really are.

Here are some examples we came up with of differences in parenting as the number of offspring has increased.  Enjoy!


Bedtime:

1st Kid:  There is a long and drawn out bedtime routine that includes book reading and singing.  He is gently rocked to sleep for each nap and bedtime until the age of 18 months.
2nd Kid:  "Here you go into your crib, nighty night!"
3rd Kid:  "Uh honey?  We should probably get the baby down...when was the last time he slept?"

Eating:

1st Kid:  Given a well balanced meal that contains all 4 food groups.  All meals and snacks are given on a prompt daily schedule.
2nd Kid:  2 or 3 food groups?  We're good to go.  Schedule is loose but discernable.
3rd Kid:  Goldfish and a cheese stick for lunch?  Why not?  We're gonna be late to Kid #1's baseball game!

Classes:

1st Kid:  Gymboree, Music Together, play groups, the more the better!  These are essential for their social and behavioral development.
2nd Kid:  What is the age range of kids allowed again?  (that alone determines whether any classes will be attended).
3rd Kid:  Does running around the soccer field with a toddler I don't know during Kid #2's weekly soccer practice count?

Learning:

1st Kid:  You sit and work on their numbers and letters, making up all kinds of fun games and perfecting their knowledge in the peace and quiet of your tidy home.
2nd Kid:  You just pray that they pick up on this stuff somehow.  Sprout?  Didn't they say something about pre-school on tv?
3rd Kid:  You pay the oldest to teach them.  E is for Entrepreneurship.

Organization:

1st Kid:  There is a place for every toy and they are all picked up and put away before each nap and before bed time.
2nd Kid:  The toys make it to their designated "areas" at least once a day.  It looks tidy, but don't look inside any closets or toy bins.
3rd Kid:  There is a clear path from each person's bed to the nearest exit, you know, in case of an emergency.

Sanitization:

1st Kid:  If the pacifier hits the ground, it is immediately sanitized, or even better, a clean spare is presented.
2nd Kid:  If the pacifier hits the ground, a quick wipe on mom's pants or shirt will do.
3rd Kid:  Retrieved right off the ground (every time... *sigh*).

Large Motor Skills:

1st Kid:  You run next to them while they ride their perfectly sized bike with their perfectly sized helmet.  You cry with pride and excitement when you let go and they ride on their own for the first time.  (you have a video of this exact moment, don't you?)

2nd Kid:  Well, the small kiddy bike with training wheels is worn out with pieces missing, so we'll just go ahead and put them on the one with 16" wheels and hope for the best.  They have to keep up, right?  That tiny little bike just won't do.  They'll get it eventually.

3rd Kid:  The third child is actually encouraged to wear a helmet at ALL times.  At some point they must have found a bike lying around because I think I saw them riding it the other day.


Cleanliness:

1st Kid:  Gets bathed every night or any time they get a little dirty, regardless if they need it or not.
2nd Kid:  Gets bathed about every other night, or on the nights that the first child didn't eat spaghetti with his hands, finger paint his hair, roll in the dog's bed or decide to swim in the mud puddle in the backyard.
3rd Kid:  Third kid gets bathed with wipes.  (Costco wipes preferably).

Naptime:


1st Kid:  The house is absolutely silent for naps and you have a strict nap schedule.  You peacefully read a book or do a little laundry to eat up time, and are SOOO excited when they wake up.  You missed them!

2nd Kid:  It's all about getting them to sleep at the same time and it is your goal in life to ensure that this happens.  This is where the "magic sleep loop" comes in handy.  You all have one, admit it.  Load the kids in the car, strap them in with their blankies and go for a little drive.  Works like a charm.

3rd Kid:  Nap schedule?  Haha.  Naps are in the car (always) and the rare occasion they're not, mommy has learned the value of a little gem we call the "white noise machine".  If there is ever an emergency, I'm grabbing the kids first and then my white noise machine.  (note to self:  must clear path to white noise machine).

Preparing for an Outing


1st Kid:  Clothes are pressed and matching perfectly.  Hair is done, teeth are brushed (by mom or dad) and there are 2 spare outfits in the perfectly organized diaper bag just in case.

2nd Kid:  Gets clothes that match with a little wrinkle releaser spray to take the edge off.  Hair product thrown in to look like it's done.  Teeth are brushed most of the time.

3rd Kid:  Allowed to dress themselves and brushing of hair and teeth is on Kid #1's sticker chore chart.

Toy Guns:


1st Kid:  The first "violent toy" that entered the house was a Nerf Gun for Kid #1's 7th birthday.
2nd Kid:  Well, the oldest was 7, so that means age 5 for Kid #2.
3rd Kid:  Kid #3 frequently a.) runs around in his diaper chasing his brothers with the Nerf Shotgun or b.) makes shooting noises while pointing his sippy cup at anyone who passes.


Love:


1st Kid:  You can't image loving anyone as much as you do your first little baby.
2nd Kid:  Wow.  How is it possible that you can love this one just as much as the first?
3rd Kid:  The baby is loved just as much as the others, plus the love of their older brothers and sisters who care for them as much as you do.  What a gift:)


How we adore these precious little souls, and how these differences help mold their awesome and unique personalities.  I have learned to embrace the differences and to laugh a little.  These will be good stories to tell to our grandchildren someday, don't you think?

Checking Your Oil and Fueling Up (and I'm not talking about your car)

I'll never forget my first car.  It wasn't the fanciest thing in the world, but man I loved it.  The "silver bullet" as my sister and I lovingly called it, was our key to freedom and along with that freedom came some obvious responsibilities.  One of those annoying responsibilities to fill up the car once it hit 1/4 tank.  The other was to check my oil.

The deal was, every time I went to fill up my car with gas, I had to lift the hood and check the oil.  If the oil level was getting close to that bottom line on the dip stick, I had to purchase some oil and go ahead and put it in.  This was not too difficult, but as a 16 year old girl with places to go and people to see (oh, and the cute boy working at the cash register to flirt with), sometimes the oil didn't get checked.  Well, let's just say that at times, the oil rarely got checked.  And filling up at 1/4 tank?  Ha ha.

Here is the kicker.  Getting caught NOT paying attention to these responsibilities was horrible.  Making the call to dad because I had run out of gas was one of the worst calls I've had to make (I only made that mistake once).  Worse than that though, was once in a while on a Saturday morning I'd head out to the car and who would be standing at the car with the hood up?  Dad.  Ugh.  All I could think was, "Please Lord, let the oil level be ok".  I'd stand there, defeated and guilty, because I had not been checking the oil, and now I'd been caught red handed.

We have so much on our plates these days.  I swear my mind and body just move from one thing to the next, trying to give attention to everyone who needs it, help, feed, show up, volunteer, organize, hug, play, worry, work, give, pay, clean, plan, schedule, drive, drive and drive some more.  At the end of the day when the kids are finally in bed, prayers have been said and lights are off, there are nights that all I can muster is a glass of wine and a click of the TV remote.  The next day, the alarm goes off and I am back at it again.  All of this running takes a toll.

Last night I got together with a handful of women for dinner...women from many different chapters of life.  One of these women (a DINK as I lovingly call her kind...dual income, no kids:) innocently asked me last night, "So, how often do you and your husband get out for date night?  Like, once a month or once every few weeks?"  I stood there, defeated and guilty, because I had not been checking the oil and now I'd been caught red handed.  It was like I was 16 again.

As I fumbled for a cute and witty response, all I could come up with was an uncomfortable remark about needing to be better about those kinds of things.  Really?  All of this scheduling and I can't schedule a little time for my husband?  

How about you?  Are you taking care of yourself?  Checking your oil?  Taking care of your marriage?  Fueling up when your tank hits about 1/4 tank?  We all know what happens when we neglect the oil and the gas tank.  It can be costly.

So, here is my challenge for you this week.  Check your levels, see where you are, and determine what you need to do to fill up.  Your levels might be fine this week, but then make sure to check them again.  And again.  And then again.  Ignoring these will most likely cause some sort of break down, and that's not good for anyone.

Fuel up.  You've got a long road ahead of you.